Hand Dryers

Recently, I overheard a conversation between the saleswoman for a restroom hand dryer company and the owner of Lady Di’s Auto Repair. I had dropped off my Yugo a month ago for a tune-up.

SW: I notice you have an old-fashion air hand dryer in your restroom. What a dog.

LD: But it works.

SW: Not really. You wash your hands, hit the ON button, and out comes a slight breeze. After five minutes your hands are still wet, so you wipe them on your pants or skirt.

LD: True. So maybe I should just go back to paper towels.

SW: And be responsible for cutting down trees, wiping out whole forests, and destroying the planet? You want to own that? No. I have the ultimate solution.

LD: Going with hand sanitizers?

SW: What you need and I have is the new Cyclonic Blower. A super high-speed fan, a veritable wind tunnel, with huge volumes of air blasting your hands dry in thirty seconds or less.

LD: Where does all the water go? On your pants?

SW: A little overspray never hurt anyone.

LD: Your hands are dry and your pants or dress are wet?

SW: But your hands are perfectly dry. Desert dry. Mission accomplished. When would you like one installed?

LD: Hold on. Where does all the air come from? An outside vent? Clean and fresh would be nice.

SW:  Not exactly.

LD: So the Cyclonic Blower is sucking in massive amounts of air from around the restroom and blowing it on your hands and your clothes?

SW: You could say that.

LD: I just did. Do you understand what goes on in a restroom, besides hand washing?

SW: (Glancing at her watch) I must depart for my next appointment. The mayor is keenly interested in the Executive Action model that comes with a lighted, oversized mirror and plays the tune “Happy Days Are Here Again” each time the fan shuts off.

LD: Maybe a hand towel service is the answer. You happen to have the number of a rental company?

SW: No way. I don’t do old school. Better living through technology is what it’s all about.

LD: Then again, if I went with a Porta Potty, I could skip the whole wash and dry thing. Sold. Thanks for stopping by.