Legs

Okay, I admit it. I took time off from posting material on my blog. Other things took priority like visiting grandchildren, finishing my next novel—Wormwood Politically Correct—and vacationing in Italy. Speaking of Italy, there used to be a time when European men would not wear shorts, only long pants throughout the year. A bit of a more formal look. Now that is going by the wayside, as men of all ages are slipping into shorts on summer days.

Which is all right for the young. But it is not all right on either side of the pond for older guys with horrible looking legs. You know what I’m referring to: tangled serpentine varicose veins, red and black gnarly blotches, oversized scars, and the like. Why do the rest of us have to be exposed to these visual nightmares? Have these folks ever, just once, looked in the mirror or down toward their shoes and taken in what we are forced to? It’s not that these vertically disturbing scenes exist—that’s totally understandable. But sharing them with us. Please, no thank you.

Oh, and ladies, this does not exempt you. A change in gender doesn’t improve the view.

To show that this is not just one man’s opinion, you just have to look to China. The Chinese understand this entire concept. “Shorts” in Chinese is spelled W-O-N-G as in “Wong is what he had on.” Another common phrase is, “Avoid wearing the wong thing.” Or as Confucius once said, “Only leopards should show their spots.”

I rest my case.